The older I get, the more stubborn I become.
I used to be a pretty passive, easy-going, happy person. Things wouldn’t get to me, I wouldn’t hold grudges, I was okay with every-day little “irks” and let them wash over me without a thought. Now, though, things are different. When someone doesn’t hold the door open as they walk through it (thereby slamming the door in my face when I’m right behind them) I get so angry I could scream. When someone challenges me on something, I’ll speak up and challenge them right back. I won’t let people walk all over me, and if someone doesn’t have time for me after I repeatedly make time for them, I stop putting in the effort and let the relationship fizzle out. Maybe it’s Toronto, maybe it’s all part of growing up, but I’ve definitely become a stubborn bitch.
I really should start doing yoga again.
All these bitchy things aside, though, my newfound trait really is doing great things for me!
If I set a challenge for myself physically, I do it. Whether it’s biking an hour straight, doing 25 squats instead of 20, or swimming to a point in a lake (then having to use a life jacket to swim back because I started sinking and my friend was worried I would drown), I set myself a goal and I do it. I have to finish it, or else I get pissed off and angry with myself.
I also set myself goals of learning two new things this year: Italian and the ukulele. I downloaded a free Italian podcast (which is absolutely fantastic and I would highly recommend if you’re interested in learning the language. They also have Spanish and French, too!) and practice it every day because I’m determined to learn by the summer. I go on YouTube and practice my uke every other day, even though it totally kills my fingers. I’m terrible at the ukulele, but am really pumped to learn at least a few things on it so I can use it on stage.
I used to start things and never finish them, but for whatever reason 2010 has brought along this new stubbornness (determination?) and I really like it. I like pushing myself and even find it a little bit exhilarating to be so competitive. I think it’s a great thing, and I feel it’s what will really lead me towards accomplishing big goals I’ve set for myself, like my 200km Ride in the summer, getting an agent, losing 50lbs and finding a hot Italian lover.
Aside from the whole “getting angry and wanting to yell at people because they’re so dumb” thing, I’m really digging this. I really should get into yoga again, though. I don’t want to be a totally cold-hearted bitch forever.